mspam3
enthusiast
Posts: 2379
Loc: Allen TX
Reg: 03-10-07
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12-17-10 05:21 PM - Post#122526
Got this in an email. Kind of silly but I thought a few of you could use a stress-reducer during this busy season.   
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be
before they are considered assassinated
instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents
in'... but it's only a 'penny for your
thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck
wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon
before we figured out it would be a good
idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like
a baby' when babies wake up like
every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it
still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings
and then put money in binoculars to
look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you
change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that
burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why
is there a stupid song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can
make a radio out of a coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy
all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and
vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what
is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does
morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs
above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's
outside the hemisphere, but call it
a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in
a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he
sticks his head out the window?
Why, Why, Why
Why do we press harder on a remote control
when we know the batteries are getting
dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient
funds' when they know there is not
enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say
there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the
paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for
death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his
chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver
at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the
word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble
bath you use the bubbles are always
white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the
refrigerator with hopes that something
new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a
dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,
then reach down, pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give the vacuum one
more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open
from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those
enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to
catch something that's falling off the
table you always manage to knock something
else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house
as warm as it was in summer when we
complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out
of every four persons are suffering
from some sort of mental illness. Think of
your three best friends -- if they're
okay, then it's you.
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