EmBee
enthusiast
Posts: 319
Loc: East Allen
Reg: 02-22-05
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07-12-08 10:14 PM - Post#53614
At what age do you stop asking to meet the parents of friends?
I still do but I'm starting to notice that I'm about the only one in my daughters' group.
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workingmom
enthusiast
Posts: 1089
Loc: Allen, TX
Reg: 06-03-04
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07-12-08 11:25 PM - Post#53621
In response to EmBee
My youngest sons are 14 and 13 and I still meet the parents if they are going to be visiting at the friend's house. But I'm surprised at the number of parents who will drop kids off at my house for a visit, party without coming to the door to meet me. It's sad but you just can't assume everyone has good intentions. I also like to make sure there will be adult supervision. And though it's sometimes awkward I also ask the weapon question - I'm not opposed to folks owning guns - I just want them locked away (separate from ammo) when my sons are visiting someone's house.
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janes
enthusiast
Posts: 354
Loc: Allen, TX USA
Reg: 07-07-02
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07-13-08 06:46 AM - Post#53632
In response to EmBee
It happens gradually as they start to drive. They will meet new people but have a way to leave if they are put in a difficult situation. My son is nearly 18 and I no longer intervene in that way. However, I do "interview" new kids that come over. My son has become used to my sleuthing and usually prepares him/her. All in all, the kids grow up fast and they understand that the company they keep is a reflection of who they are. I've only had to tell my son that I don't care for one particular friend. Although this kid hangs out at times with the extended group, I've asked my son not to go over to his house and not to drive together. He has honored that request. It's a difficult process to let go but the kids will soon be on their own and must learn to discern other people & situations. Best of luck.
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chickypez
enthusiast
Posts: 506
Loc: Allen, TX
Reg: 02-13-07
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07-13-08 10:38 AM - Post#53635
In response to janes
Up until I started driving, My parents always met the parents of who I was going to hang out with. When they would drop me off somewhere, they would just run up to the door and say hi, or if someone's parents dropped them off, they would run out to the car and say hi. Of course, by the time I was in high school, they already knew most of the parents. It just seems like good common sense to want to know the parents of who the kiddos are hanging out with.
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luvyrpet
enthusiast
Posts: 2104
Loc: Allen
Reg: 09-11-05
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07-13-08 12:03 PM - Post#53640
In response to chickypez
Our daughters are 14 and 11. We still like to meet the parents. And when they have a new friend, they will say to us " I want you to met so-n-so and their mom, so we can go do such-n-such" .. so I guess it works.
I am guessing will continue to do it.
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V-Girl
enthusiast
Posts: 2889
Loc: Allen, TX, US
Reg: 07-12-01
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07-13-08 03:33 PM - Post#53649
In response to EmBee
We've met all of the parents of all our daughters' friends at school. It's a small school though (two classes per grade).
Crazy doesn't even begin to cover it. 
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vrs
enthusiast
Posts: 2845
Loc: Allen, Texas
Reg: 04-20-00
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07-13-08 07:06 PM - Post#53662
In response to EmBee
I think it happens when they start to drive. Until then it was easy - picking up or dropping off, I ALWAYS met the parents.
Thinking back, I already knew almost all of my sons' friends' parents. I would meet them in booster clubs or scout meetings or church some other volunteer capacity.
Yet another reason to volunteer wherever your kids are.
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wetvet
enthusiast
Posts: 582
Loc: Allen
Reg: 02-26-07
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07-13-08 09:56 PM - Post#53683
In response to vrs
Thanks for the topic as this is a great question. I don't think you should stop asking to meet the parents until the friends are of legal age. In this day and age, it really does take a village to raise the kids so the more parents you know, as well as their ideals/beliefs/morals, the better.
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jogo
enthusiast
Posts: 1475
Reg: 08-31-05
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07-14-08 08:46 AM - Post#53693
In response to EmBee
I'll be taking my son to college in a few weeks and I plan to make every effort possible to meet the parents of his roommates. I, of course, won't have any control over the situation if I don't like the roommates and/or parents but I still want to know who they are!
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Levansfour
enthusiast
Posts: 511
Reg: 05-09-05
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07-14-08 10:12 AM - Post#53705
In response to jogo
I'll be taking my son to college in a few weeks and I plan to make every effort possible to meet the parents of his roommates. I, of course, won't have any control over the situation if I don't like the roommates and/or parents but I still want to know who they are!
Good luck catching the parents in a college sitution. I have found that kids are never arriving on the same day or even the same time. You son might not even see his roommate often. Colleges never take into consideration kids schedules. many are lucky to see each other sleeping.
Its hard to let go.. but you have to.At this point you have to trust yourself that you taught your child everything they need to know to be a young adult in a college and life experiences.(or atleast have the sense to call mom and ask if t hey arent sure)
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jogo
enthusiast
Posts: 1475
Reg: 08-31-05
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07-14-08 10:28 AM - Post#53706
In response to Levansfour
Fortunately, all the students in my son's dorm MUST move in within a 2 hour window on the same day. Plus, his roommate has already told him his parents will be there at move-in too!
Yeah, I'm working on the letting go part ... (we need a crying smilie here)!
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Levansfour
enthusiast
Posts: 511
Reg: 05-09-05
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07-14-08 02:10 PM - Post#53736
In response to jogo
hang in there. My oldest graduated from college and immediatly moved to DC. Talk about mom needing some crying time.Next oldest moved into his own place. I have 2 more at home one is a senior this year. So i guess i will just have to buck up and let another fly out of the nest soon enough.
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workingmom
enthusiast
Posts: 1089
Loc: Allen, TX
Reg: 06-03-04
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07-14-08 02:29 PM - Post#53737
In response to jogo
We were lucky to be able to meet oldest son's roommate and family last summer since they lived in the area. Maybe you can arrange to meet and/or share a meal with the roommates family on move-in day. Chances are they are feeling the same way you are and would love to meet you as well. I know we exchanged phone numbers with son's roommates family and always checked to see if there was anything they wanted to send when were planning to visit. They also brought my son things and took him with them to eat when they visited campus.
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mspam3
enthusiast
Posts: 2379
Loc: Allen TX
Reg: 03-10-07
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07-14-08 04:30 PM - Post#53750
In response to jogo
I remember when I went to college, I went through 3 roomates before I found the one that was similar to me in study habits, sleep time and party time. I didn't party at all. I had to work.
Your son has all the values you have taught him and shown him through example. He may not display them right now because you are so available. When he is out there on his own, he will use these to help him make decisions.
Even in high school my kids had friends that had great parents but a few of the kids weren't that great. (Some liked to drink and drug and my kids weren't into that).
Your son will grow more confident every day and you can count on him to make good decisions even if a different roommate is needed.
Good luck with this. I know how hard this is like others who have posted.
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jogo
enthusiast
Posts: 1475
Reg: 08-31-05
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07-14-08 05:16 PM - Post#53763
In response to mspam3
I know roommates can be an adjustment - I had a few lousy ones of my own. I'm really not too worried about the roommate thing but my point was that just because your child reaches the magical age of 18, most parents don't quit worrying about their kids and the friends/roommates/etc. they hang around with and the type of influence they have on your child. There's just not alot we can do about it anymore if we don't like their friends! Up to this point, my son has made very good choices about his friends - let's just hope it continues!
Edited by jogo on 07-14-08 05:24 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.
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