ReadingRainbow
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Posts: 680
Loc: Allen
Reg: 10-19-07
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01-02-10 02:59 PM - Post#102737
My little girl is an oddity in my family...she doesn't play any sports. At first I figured she just needed to find the right sport, but then I learned that she was afraid to try any. Afraid that she wouldn't be any good, that the other kids would make fun of her if she messed up, afraid that people would be angry at her. Above all, afraid she would get embarassed. Yeah, she psychoanalyzed herself and that's what she came up with. Part of the reason I wish she could join a good team; she'd have less time for such introverted thoughts.
But recently she's been asking if she should get involved in sports. I told her "Of COURSE you should!" and tried to tell her all the positive parts of being on a team. So I suggested softball to my girl, I even told her that if she chose softball I would go to EVERY game, and would even volunteer to coach her team. (softball's my sport). She didn't seem very interested. I don't know much about any of the other sports available in this area. Most of all I don't know which of the sports/teams around here would be more likely to be hardcore...pushing for that #1 place and which would be more laid back...with no one much concerned about how many wins/losses they had.
Any thoughts/suggestions/crit icisms?
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Brewer
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Posts: 1285
Reg: 06-02-07
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01-02-10 03:11 PM - Post#102739
In response to ReadingRainbow
Tennis is a sport that can be easily picked up by a nine YO and still have several years before the competition is really brutal. You can practice tennis in all but the worst weather and improvement can be seen in an afternoon. Equipment costs can be covered with a fifty for a beginner. I like a drill where you throw a racket to learn the serving motion so find some OLD rackets and get to it.
A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan executed next week.
-GEN George S. Patton
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sco
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Loc: allen,TX USA
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01-02-10 03:16 PM - Post#102741
In response to ReadingRainbow
You might be better off trying an individual sport. She could try tennis or swimming or martial arts. In an individual sport she could progress at her own pace without feeling pressured by the rest of the team.
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vrs
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Loc: Allen, Texas
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01-02-10 04:20 PM - Post#102743
In response to ReadingRainbow
Based on your post, it seems that she needs to try something where she taste some success right away. So look for something she might be good at. For example, if eye/hand coordination is a problem - tennis is not the first choice. If she hates the water - swimming is not the right choice.
In the absence of other information, martial arts seems like a good place to start. The instructors we met were supportive and students were only competing to improve themselves. There are lots of small tests in the beginning to advance belt colors so a good chance of visible success.
Swimming is also a great choice if she is so inclined. I would get her a few private lessons before finding a team for her - let her learn the basics of rhythmic breathing and stroke coordination.
I would avoid sports that someone else in the family excelled at unless she has a passion for it - less chance of comparisons.
Good luck!!
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mspam3
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Posts: 2196
Loc: Allen TX
Reg: 03-10-07
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01-02-10 04:59 PM - Post#102745
In response to ReadingRainbow
Our son was like your daughter. He said he never liked sports but it was mainly fear of trying and fear of failing. When one says "sport" we tend to think of more rigorous physical play. Maybe what she would like is an "activity" which could be something like the chess club or the many clubs that are available at the schools. Maybe if she looks at her strengths and interests she could find something that way. If she loves to read, maybe a book club. Just an idea. If your family is really physical in sports this may not apply.
When my daughter entered 9th grade, the school had formed a swing dance club. I thought it was hilarious when I first heard about it but she loved it. It boosted her self-esteem, she loved the outfits and thoroughly enjoyed learning all those old dances.
And like vrs said, martial arts is a great individual/team sport. My son finally enrolled in that and boosted his self esteem, has trophies and belts to show for it. Good luck in your pursuit!
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campbellfam
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Posts: 1849
Loc: Allen, TX, USA
Reg: 07-12-02
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01-02-10 05:58 PM - Post#102757
In response to mspam3
Plano Parks and Rec offers several sports "classes" in their leisure catalog for very reasonable prices. We did this with 2 of our 3 kids (1 boy and 1 girl)- signed them up to take soccer, baseball and basketball. The classes were once a week for 3-4 weeks and they learned the basic rules and got lots of practice. It was an inexpensive way to let them try a sport and if they liked it enough to find a team they went in with some real confidence. Oak Point Center is pretty close to Allen so there isn't much of a drive.
Our other daughter loved gymnastics for years.
Now all 3 are in martial arts and love it as well.
Allen Parks and Rec has some activites that few others offer- like Girls on the Run, which meets twice a week for several weeks and ends with the girls running in a 5k event.
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Pollyanna
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Reg: 08-16-04
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01-02-10 11:32 PM - Post#102773
In response to ReadingRainbow
Tennis would be a great sport to start her out in and you could enroll her @ High Point in Plano and she wouldn't have to worry about students from her school and feeling self conscious - the kids come from all over our area.
Drills improve your skills and there's always the ball machine! If she doesn't have good eye hand coordination now, she can develop it with tennis as I have. It also trains you to focus, just as you learn to in yoga.
I started playing in college and have stopped and started playing more times than I can remember. Unlike softball or basketball, it's a sport that you can play into your 70's or 80's, obviously for people in excellent health. It's also good exercise (burn approx. 600 calories in 1.5 hours)
Oh, and the clothes are so cute.
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DrivinTooFast
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Reg: 02-20-08
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01-04-10 10:07 AM - Post#102819
In response to Pollyanna
Golf, bowling, track. Even team sports can be non-competitive with the right coach.
I would suggest NOT coaching your own kid if they have confidence issues or are afraid of failing. Coach's kids take it the worst even if you don't mean to ride the kid.
I coach mine and if I say something like, "pick the knees up a little bit to the team", She thinks I hate her I don't think she can run. Coaching your own kid is horribly difficult especially girls. It can be a great relationship thing, but it is definitely challenging. Some of my other kids can take parent coaching with no problems, but it depends on the kid and to an extent the coach/parent as well.
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ReadingRainbow
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Posts: 680
Loc: Allen
Reg: 10-19-07
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01-04-10 11:50 AM - Post#102826
In response to DrivinTooFast
Thanks everyone for the great suggestions! Now I have some directions to focus on, instead of just saying "Play softball, it's the best!" hehe
Drivin, I know in my brain you are right, but in my heart I just want to be involved and join my girl in the fun hehe. My dad coached my sister and I for a few years, of course he was the most laid back coach we had and everyone absolutely LOVED him. I'm definitely NOT my father  And more than likely my girl would be like yours and think I was angry at her for any little suggestion. *sigh*
I hadn't even thought of tennis/bowling/golf.
Martial Arts is something hubby and I definitely agree she should give a chance. Hubby is out of shape, but in his prime he taught ninjutsu. We would definitely not have him teach her...he's very VERY strict with students.
Swimming is definitely a possibility: She can't swim very well, but she *really* wants to. I think I'm going to need to get a membership to a rec center. Give her some easily accessed options.
Thanks again everyone!
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DrivinTooFast
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01-04-10 01:16 PM - Post#102832
In response to ReadingRainbow
I have coached both rec and select environments. The hardest part about coaching rec is keeping the parents reminded that this is rec sports. In select sports, the hardest part is reminding the players that this is select sports.
Trying to find the balance as a coach and as a parent is challenging to say the least. Especially, if the kid has some talent.
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civicminded
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01-04-10 02:15 PM - Post#102838
In response to ReadingRainbow
Being a person that cares not for sports (mostly because of the down sides), there are so many other avenues of interest that one need not get into a sport because others wish it so. What are her interests or strong suits? Perhaps an academic "sport" or group can be the choice, as they offer the same team building skills and opportunity for recognition for those that might want that part of it.
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sco
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Posts: 2668
Loc: allen,TX USA
Reg: 10-26-02
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01-04-10 04:44 PM - Post#102850
In response to ReadingRainbow
Swimming is definitely a possibility: She can't swim very well, but she *really* wants to. I think I'm going to need to get a membership to a rec center. Give her some easily accessed options.
Thanks again everyone!
The Natatorium has stroke clinic classes a couple of times a week. We haven't done in but one of my daughter's friends did. It is set up like swim team practice but without the meets. That might be an option is she wants to swim. I don't believe you have to be a member for the class.
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denisew
Community Expert
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Loc: Allen, TX
Reg: 02-18-02
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01-04-10 05:44 PM - Post#102861
In response to ReadingRainbow
We had our boys enrolled with the DYS group in martial arts a couple years ago. The lead instructor, Mr. Walker, is an excellent teacher. He told us when our boys first started his classes that his mother "made him" attend karate as a child and the class he took, he didn't like because it was so strict. As he excelled in the sport he grew to love it and now teaches it, although not in the same manner as his teacher. He said he wanted to make it fun for the kids to learn self defense and we could see that in his teaching style. The last I heard, they are still holding classes at Green Elementary on Wednesday nights. There should be a flyer coming home when school starts back this week or next as to exactly when. I know the other martial arts studios in town are also good, but I felt good having my boys learn from Mr. Walker because they enjoyed being around him. But, as always, you should feel free to visit the various martial arts centers here in Allen to see if you like the way they run the classes.
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ReadingRainbow
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Posts: 680
Loc: Allen
Reg: 10-19-07
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01-04-10 08:54 PM - Post#102875
In response to denisew
The main reason I would like her to join a sport is for the comaraderie; being with a group of people all working together towards the same goal (whether it be a "win" or a certain belt/score/speed). And the kind of good morals that come from knowing that one isn't the center of the universe and that others (even the other team) are real people with real lives to be valued. Not to mention it'll get her off her tail! I'm sure those same lessons are to be learned in non sports activities...I just don't know the right parental speech to cover such occasions haha! Plus I suck SO bad at chess *snicker*
That being said, if she joined a chess club I would be absolutely delighted. I think her thoughts of joining a sport came when her brother passed away a couple of months ago (the son my mother adopted when I was a teen). He was very athletic, and she wants to be like he was.
I think the first thing I'll look into is martial arts. I'm temporarily unable to walk, so this will allow her to get into something fun and educational that I don't have to jump up and join in hehe.
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sco
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01-04-10 11:23 PM - Post#102887
In response to ReadingRainbow
My 11 year old is interested in trying martial arts as well. I don't want to hijack the thread but I'd be interested in recommendations if you find a good program.
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campbellfam
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Posts: 1849
Loc: Allen, TX, USA
Reg: 07-12-02
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01-05-10 08:30 AM - Post#102892
In response to sco
Allen Parks and Rec has some good, inexpensive options for martial arts. Beginner classes are 4:30 Mon/Thurs and run $58 per month. allenparks.org has the latest catalog up, and registration started yesterday.
My kids take Kung Fu at Oak Point Center Mon/Wed 6pm.
When looking for a good program, make sure the instructor is really who they say they are (some will declare themselves "Master" of an art instead of really earning it). Ask who they trained with and google them. This matters because if they are just "winging it" someone is likely to get hurt as these types of instructors will often focus on just fighting rather than teaching control or the school will close/change hands frequently effecting the students greatly.
Sit in on classes. A good instructor will keep their classes focused and under control while still allowing lots of practice time (we visited one Allen school where the kids ran around yelling most of the hour, which is fine for those just looking to wear out their kids but we wanted a more focused approach).
Be wary of schools that promote too quickly. Belts should be earned by working hard and learning the art so it's hard to believe an 8 year old can fully understand what it means to be a blackbelt. A friend wanted her daughter to be a blackbelt so at 10 enrolled her in a local school, by 12 her daughter was a blackbelt and wanted to quit because "what was the point in going on?" A good program will not allow blackbelts under the age of 16 or 18 which gives kids a chance to really understand that being a blackbelt doesn't mean you can be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
The point I'm making is look around, ask friends and find a class that is comfortable with an instructor you like and trust.
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chf
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Loc: NW Allen
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01-07-10 10:54 PM - Post#103078
In response to ReadingRainbow
For an individual sport, I would also vote for martial arts. It's great for building self-confidence.
For a team sport, I would recommend an Upward Basketball league. Upward is a national program used by many churches in the area. It emphasizes teaching fundamentals and sportsmanship over pure competitiveness. They use some special rules that evens out the talent across teams and keeps the matchups in a game fairly equal. It's also an "everyone plays" league, with player rotation schedule that is set for the season before the first game is played.
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csquare
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Loc: Allen
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01-08-10 11:30 AM - Post#103093
In response to ReadingRainbow
An introspective kid might feel good trying archery or fencing. Not too many people do those, and there are fewer kids to compare yourself to. Fencing is surprisingly good exercise, but does take some coordination. It's hard to beat swimming as a lifelong activity, and it has the added benefit of giving you some skills that can make you safer wherever you go on trips. I would hate to take my kids canoeing, sailing, or to the beach or waterskiing if they couldn't swim well.
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texmomma
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Reg: 10-02-06
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01-08-10 01:55 PM - Post#103099
In response to chf
I agree with the suggestion to look at Upward leagues. Cottonwood Creek Baptist has soccer, basketball, and cheerleading, and I know First United Methodist also has Upwards. My nonathletic kids learned the basics of basketball in a supportive environment without all the pressure, teasing, etc. that they would have likely run into elsewhere. Terrific program. I especially liked the fact that after the game the kids were recognized for their contributions- not only offense and defense, but sportsmanship, teamwork, character, that sort of thing.
Edited by texmomma on 01-08-10 01:58 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.
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ReadingRainbow
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Posts: 680
Loc: Allen
Reg: 10-19-07
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01-16-10 09:51 AM - Post#103535
In response to texmomma
Okay, that Upward thing sounds exactly like what we need! I think my girl has started regretting even mentioning sports to me, BUT I think I could get her reinterested if I find out more about the upward leagues and talk with her about them.
csquare: I'm with you, one just can't feel safe doing in/near water activities unless one's child is a competant swimmer. Archery and fencing sound so exciting! I dunno if the kid would want to do them, but *I* sure would love to!
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