luvyrpet
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Loc: Allen
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 06-23-08 10:49 PM - Post#50663
I have a 14 year old Daughter.
At what age did you, your siblings, your children start to date?
Did you or your children go as groups first?
Did you drive your children everywhere sorta like a third wheel? Your parents with you?
Let me know at what age and why? Boy or girl, both, and what was the difference between them, that helped you make these decisions.
We are NOT ready to let her date, but I wanted to hear others ideas.. etc
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V-Girl
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Loc: Allen, TX, US
Reg: 07-12-01
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06-23-08 11:02 PM - Post#50666
In response to luvyrpet
C is not allowed to date. EVER. We can have her watch her little sister and my kids while we go out if we need to occupy her Friday and Saturday nights.
Crazy doesn't even begin to cover it. 
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luvyrpet
enthusiast
Posts: 2104
Loc: Allen
Reg: 09-11-05
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06-23-08 11:12 PM - Post#50671
In response to V-Girl
LOL! Well, we will lock her up if we could.
We don't allow her to call boys, period.
She is already 'going out' with a boy, and when we went to Summer Sounds tonight, he was there .. so, we couldn't tell him to leave, we have no right, however, we did keep and HUGE eye on her. S, wasn't to far behind, and was reporting .. LOL
So I know at some point we have to make a decision..
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ReadingRainbow
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Posts: 773
Loc: Allen
Reg: 10-19-07
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06-24-08 12:35 AM - Post#50683
In response to luvyrpet
Alex will be allowed out on group dates/parties when she is 14 and unless it is a public place there had better be an adult chaperone. Full dates when she is 16. Of course I will try my hardest to dissuade her from dating in the meantime. I really REALLY don't want a pregnant teen on my hands.
She already has a boyfriend now (well HE says he isn't...but he's only 9 LOL) that comes over to play often. She told him she will marry him, but she doesn't want his last name. That's my girl! *grin*
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MsAlyce
enthusiast
Posts: 4392
Loc: Allen,Texas,USA
Reg: 04-03-04
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06-24-08 07:25 PM - Post#50780
In response to luvyrpet
I think you will find it interesting when you get the definition of "date". I hear this bantered about at the center all the time. At the center it means they will play two square, or want to be on the same dodgeball team. It also means giving her/him the paper flower made in arts & crafts. That's what they mean by "dating".
I started dating my first husband in 9th grade (our H.S. was a 4 year school). We went on group dates for more than a year. We dated all through High School, went to college together and married. Total years spent together, 17.
I think that parents must communicate with their teens, give them solid guidance, and be there when things go bad. AND NEVER SAY "YOU ARE YOUNG! GET OVER IT!"
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Tough 75002
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06-25-08 12:42 PM - Post#50928
In response to luvyrpet
Hard fast rule when I was growing up was double dates at 16 and sophmore year.
For my boys, it will be 32 and over my dead body.
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campbellfam
enthusiast
Posts: 1849
Loc: Allen, TX, USA
Reg: 07-12-02
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06-25-08 12:54 PM - Post#50929
In response to Tough 75002
15-16 group parties, dates
17 single dates
BUT we weren't allowed to go out on school nights and during summer 10pm curfew on weeknights (unless I had to work later) and 12am curfew on weekend until I was 18. I tried to test them once and they put a "for sale" sign on my car, never tried again.
My kids will probably have the same rules, although hubby thinks those rules are too liberal, lol.
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luvyrpet
enthusiast
Posts: 2104
Loc: Allen
Reg: 09-11-05
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06-25-08 06:57 PM - Post#50995
In response to campbellfam
Thanks,
That sounds about what I did growing up too.
About a year ago, C started getting the phone calls, and one even asked her to go somewhere. I think that is what started the whole thinking process for hubby and I.. to me, it sounded like he said "why can't she go on that date?" .. and I said something like "not until she is 32".. then turned into an argument..
now a year later .. I have won ..
He sees what I have been talking about. Remember, I WAS a girl before, and I KNOW what boys want .. so I will do whatever it takes to not let her get into any situation she knows better than being in.
So, that means, no dating, alone, until 16-17 (or later..like 32)
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RayW
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Reg: 12-18-01
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06-25-08 11:15 PM - Post#51027
In response to luvyrpet
My daughter will be 15 next month. A few weeks back she asked me if she could go to a concert with a male friend. I told her absolutely no way and went on to explain the evils of the male mind. At some point she said “Dad he’s gay”. This stopped me cold in my tracks for about 2 seconds and then I said “oh…ummmmm.. ok”
I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance - a sharp, vindictive glance.
James Thurber
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luvyrpet
enthusiast
Posts: 2104
Loc: Allen
Reg: 09-11-05
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06-26-08 08:03 AM - Post#51037
In response to RayW
LOL!!
however, that could be a cover up, I saw that on George Lopez! She was 'going out' with a guy, and the family saw the 'boyfriend' out with another guy, and they asked her, she admitted he was gay, and they found out she was dating the guy they told her to stay away from .. LOL
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Tough 75002
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Posts: 744
Reg: 11-17-04
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06-26-08 12:01 PM - Post#51070
In response to luvyrpet
Wall Street Journal Article onthe subject...
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB12143480705 5501441...
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luvyrpet
enthusiast
Posts: 2104
Loc: Allen
Reg: 09-11-05
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06-26-08 03:34 PM - Post#51113
In response to Tough 75002
oohh, some good reading!
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denisew
Community Expert
Posts: 9241
Loc: Allen, TX
Reg: 02-18-02
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06-26-08 04:20 PM - Post#51122
In response to luvyrpet
luvurpet - I have to tell you that I was shocked one day while waiting for my oldest son after school over at Ford MS when I saw a boy and girl in the parking lot on the east side of school hugging and kissing in public! In my opinion that is just too young for stuff like that, although I am aware that other things start at young ages too.
We allow our son to go to the school dances and hang out with his friends, but no dating yet. I know he is going to a girl's birthday swim party this summer, but her parents will be present along with a host of other friends. We know he is interested in girls, but not ready to date yet. We'll see what happens when he starts over at Lowery. Right now, he is more interested in hanging out with his friends. Oh, and eating. I just can't keep enough food in the house for him and he is tall and skinny!
As far as rules of dating when I was that age . . . I dated someone my freshman year, but it was always with parental supervision since neither of us were driving yet. After that it was mainly group dating, but by the end of my junior year and into my senior year, I was going on single dates. It was usually to see a movie or something. I was working a part-time job, so there wasn't a whole lot of time for dating between the job and school. I did have curfews too and couldn't date on school nights. I think standards like this will probably be the same for my boys.
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civicminded
Community Guide
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Loc: Lone Star State
Reg: 04-24-02
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06-26-08 06:13 PM - Post#51134
In response to luvyrpet
This isn't directed at your case, as I don't know your daughter. I realize you didn't say you considered letting a 14 yo date, and I would certainly not do that. Of course almost any age is a no brainer for friendly gathering at movies and activities as long as parents are involved.
What people might consider just in case they don't know of these things, is what happens when you're out of sight. Certain homes have provided unsafe activities for kids even with owner/parents involved. Also a common thing with kids in this age group, even in Allen, is kids meeting up with someone else after they leave home. The kids walking around in Allen are often out too late, or with others I suspect they shouldn't be with, like little groupies. This isn't new of course, but is real life.   
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luvyrpet
enthusiast
Posts: 2104
Loc: Allen
Reg: 09-11-05
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06-26-08 08:06 PM - Post#51156
In response to denisew
I agree!
This is the way I was thinking as well. I guess I am not the only one that thinks like this.
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luvyrpet
enthusiast
Posts: 2104
Loc: Allen
Reg: 09-11-05
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06-26-08 08:10 PM - Post#51157
In response to civicminded
Nope, we haven't even let her go in group 'dates' with/without boys.
However we have allowed her to attend the school dances at Ford Middle. And I was a chaperone 2X (she went there for 7th and 8th grade) .. and I KNOW what boys are thinking .. I even had to have a girl pulled off the floor and sent home .. she was behaving inappropriate, and the boys were 'dry humping' her!!!!!!!
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civicminded
Community Guide
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06-26-08 11:43 PM - Post#51200
In response to luvyrpet
Good for you. 
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wetvet
enthusiast
Posts: 582
Loc: Allen
Reg: 02-26-07
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06-27-08 10:02 AM - Post#51243
In response to civicminded
This is a great discussion as I have 4 girls with the oldest being 15. The big shock came when the boy who had been calling my oldest turned 16 and got his driver's license. That opened up a whole new can of worms. However, we have tried to allow for open communication between the girls and me and my wife and I think they tell us more about what's going on than most of the kids tell their parents.
Tracking things on MySpace is also a great way to keep up with what's going on at parties and events that the kids attend because some of the bolder kids post pictures and blogs about what happened.
I think the bottom line is, noone ever thinks their kids are ready to date but if you start off with group settings and slowly dwindle the size of the group, it makes for a lot less of a shock. But then again, this is coming from a guy who has 5 women in the house and spends a lot of time in the garage.
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luvyrpet
enthusiast
Posts: 2104
Loc: Allen
Reg: 09-11-05
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06-27-08 10:12 AM - Post#51247
In response to wetvet
I think the bottom line is, noone ever thinks their kids are ready to date but if you start off with group settings and slowly dwindle the size of the group, it makes for a lot less of a shock. But then again, this is coming from a guy who has 5 women in the house and spends a lot of time in the garage.
LOL .. I agree! So do you finish all the projects, or just have a lot to keep you busy out there?
I bet you go through TP like the air you breathe hu?
You are right though, our girls talk to us about everything, we started that from day one. You need to, or it could go downhill real fast. They even talk to DAD about everything as well, so they are pretty comfortable with us.
We even made a 'mail box' for those sensitive things that the girls want to bring up, but don't know how? Maybe embarrassed to say something, so they leave us mail. Then we can bring it up to them, and talk about it.
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wetvet
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Posts: 582
Loc: Allen
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06-27-08 10:37 AM - Post#51251
In response to luvyrpet
The mailbox idea is a pretty good one. The girls obviously don't tell me nearly as much as they tell their mom but they are still pretty open. I can't say that I finish any projects in the garage but it is a somewhat quiet "retreat." And yes, we should own Proctor & Gamble stock.
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